Sometimes I wonder if I AM someone else’s “I guess it could always be worse!” thought. Today I was feeling ambitious and had an overly caffeinated motivated moment. I pulled into daycare and saw other families walking leisurely into daycare I thought “hey, other kids that are my kids age (the boys just turned two) are walking obediently next to their parents into daycare, I should start to try that and not stunt their developmental and behavioral milestones just because I have twins and it’s more of a challenge.” This is contrary to what I typically do- which is to put them in the double stroller and wheel them in without the opportunity for toddler freedom and/or chaos. As a disclaimer to those of you who are asking yourselves why this is being portrayed as some sort of epic feat, I would like to say that it is a PIECE OF CAKE to do this with ONE of my boys, but for some reason when they are together it’s like they know I’m out numbered and they find it exceedingly entertaining to make seemingly simple tasks such as this extraordinarily difficult! Having one kid is like having none, having two is like having ten. SO- What started out as a good idea full of good twin parenting intentions turned into what I can only describe as an embarrassing cross between a toddler track meet and a rodeo (an unsuccessful one without any lassoing). The boys were VERY excited with this newfound freedom together so of course despite my inaccurate confidence in their ability to listen- they ran in total opposite directions in the parking lot. Before I could get the van doors closed, one ran into the van and then out the other side throwing toy obstacles out along the way, meanwhile the other one was laughing hysterically at his brothers genius in making mommy run laps around the van and was himself running amuck in an opposite direction. Their little bodies were quick and nimble- easily dodging my attempts at corralling them. Eventually I was able to round one up, holding him similarly to the lady gaga halftime show dance (Gaga Toddler Tantrum Dance) and then I was able to pursue chasing the other twin. I was only able to stop the second twin (Eli) from running haphazardly into the busy parking lot by actually intentionally/desperately knocking him over onto some grass in front of the daycare (and in front of everyone AT the daycare during this busy drop off time!). I was sweaty and disheveled when I finally got to the door, two flailing toddlers tucked under each arm. I felt at least 5 other adults staring at me, with awkward WTF smiles. After I finally got them into the classroom (still flailing and screaming) I had the next thought of the day (which had hardly even began at this point!): WHY hasn’t someone invented caffeinated WINE??