For ONCE I feel super on top of things. I wake up take a shower and am officially ready to go to work a solid 15 minutes BEFORE the time the boys typically wake up which is 6AM (this is not the norm of my typically chaotic morning hustle). Feeling good about my start to the day- I enter the boys room with an abnormally chipper chime to my voice, “GoOoOoOd morniiiiing!” I proclaim. My large smile and jovial up-and at-em demeanor quickly evaporates. My children are running amuck gleefully in the room. This in itself is entirely unremarkable. What is remarkable is that they are both running amuck naked, extremely naked, how and why are they naked?? Like no clothes, no diapers, no nothing naked. Eli cuts through my confusion with his limited toddler jargon but amazingly concise observation, “I poopy mommy!” followed by further terse toddler clarification “I put poopy in trash!” I pivot to gain a view the diaper genie in the closet. Yep- it’s covered in feces. I look closer at the room around me. Poop. Is. Everywhere. Sheets, blankets, carpet, everywhere. As they complete another elated lap around the room, I glimpse their backsides which are likewise completely covered in “poopies.” I give both of them baths, hastily clean up & attempt to sanitize the disgusting explosion of fecal contamination that is their bedroom. I then begin the normal routine of actually getting them ready for the day and our hour commute to work and daycare. By the time I actually get to work, I’m late and basically feel like I need stiff beverage before I’ve even began my day. Oh well- as they say, sh*t happens; and when you have twin toddlers who have suddenly gained the ability to take all of their clothes off, apparently motivated by their joint decision to no longer wear diapers- despite a complete lack of any actual potty training success- it happens in an extremely literal and horrifying sense.
Pic: The boys FINALLY ready to go after the morning sh*t storm. ha!